Chevrolet Cobalt SS Supercharged: Fourth Place Pick
It hurts to place this amazingly fun track car in last place. Hurts, really, because of all the good times, around the turns and down the straights, the marvelous gearing, the superb engine and the tight, aggressive grip this car exhibited, lap after lap. Ah, memories are such sweet things. But sadly there’s the dark side, the things you don’t want to recall about the experience, like cheap plastics, bad fit and finish, a practically useless trunk, and a wing on the back that shouts: Hey there, Mr. Officer, sir, please give me one your fine citations…

But I digress. The 2006 Chevrolet Cobalt SS comes in fourth on my scorecard because as hoot-and-hollerin’ fun it was on a track, it was equally disappointing on the streets. But it comes in first on the track, delivering ribbons of power within gear ratios that will make you want to cheer. The vehicle is superbly planted, though a little skittish during hard cornering, with just a little squeal coming from the tires. This thing is faster than your fast. It makes your fast run and hide. On the track, drive the Chevy Cobalt SS. It’s just that simple, as is this regrettable fact: drive something else on your way there.

On virtually every aspect of interior design, comfort, and fit-and-finish, the Cobalt came in last. There’s less legroom, the seats lack proper support, and the surrounding plastic feels cheap and tawdry, with misaligned pieces front and center. Case in point: the black trim around the window is a sticker instead of paint, and the opening to the trunk – which is nice and large – is probably too small for an average-sized suitcase. Then there’s The Wing. Yes, The Wing, which turns a nice and simple design into a juvenile boy-racer car. Come on – anyone over the age of 20 has got to cringe when they see The Wing.

Scion tC Supercharged: Third Place Pick
Remember in gym class, when the kids with medical conditions were excused from certain activities? For their own good, you know, and it doesn’t really add to the educational experience to have a skinny 14-year-old gasping and wheezing, trying to block a 300-pound classmate.

That kid is the Scion tC, and it shoulda been excused from the track. Point is, on the track, the tC stumbled and fumbled its way around with a suspension setup that felt decidedly over matched. While the power was okay, even good, handling was a slippery business. Aggressive shifting was difficult with so much third-gear real estate, and we were happy that it got around the course without blowing up or dropping its wheels. The power you get from that supercharged engine can be most enjoyed during your daily drive, and, indeed, it is a very nice ride in that setting. Just try not to take it on a challenging twisty road or a track. You’ll find, if you do, that the tC is outmatched, with touchy brakes that grow progressively worse as they heat up, and vague steering that betrays itself when you tug on it.

The 2006 Scion tC shines in other areas, however, which is why it ranks ahead of the Cobalt SS to me. Inside, the cabin is comfortable, except in the back, where even a small child would complain about the space and seating position. Getting back there was the easiest of the lot, though, with an easy-to-use seatback release and a big opening through which to crawl. Seats were sturdy and comfortable, though they lacked thigh support. Build quality, was, overall, acceptable, ranked as such because there were several very un-Toyota-like rattles and vibrations coming from the dash. The sunroof, the interior and exterior design, and the multi-colored audio display clearly make the Scion tC the coolest car of the lot, just as long as you keep it off the track or tight canyon roads.

Honda Civic Si: Second Place Pick
The first time you drive it you will shake your head and wonder what the heck Honda did to your beloved Civic Si. The second time around, you will grudgingly admit that it is a little fun. By the third or fourth time around, you won’t be able to wipe the dirty little smile off your face. You can fling this little beast around, yo, and while it’s a gutless little cat – just wait until you hit a corner and let the Si go to work. Just live high in the rev range and you’ll enjoy this car, but be warned: around the track you’ve gotta earn it, flying through the gears and wringing out every last drop of power. On canyon roads – where you don’t really want to go drifting, the Si is a bit troublesome, mainly because the brakes heat up and lose their composure, and the back end wants to flip out. It’s a polite daily driver, though you always know – if you can just get to that lonely desert road or track – what awaits, up where the revs are high and the Si earns its badge.

Inside, it’s much the same story. The seats are second only to the GTI, but there’s that nasty little parking brake that’ll get ya, sooner or later. The back seat is good, almost livable, though the cupholders are a bad joke and headroom is tight. The most glaring problem with the Si, actually, is assembly quality. Yep – things were already falling off this car, from the headliner in the back to the C-pillar covers that were loose and also misaligned. Overall, things feel loose – joints, fascias, and more, a sad outcome to a nicely designed car that sports quality materials – just lousy construction. That’s a shame, and hopefully just a blight on our particular test vehicle, because the overall design is excellent if not as sexy as the Scion tC. Inside, the layout is simple, logical, and driver-oriented, with a gorgeous steering wheel and a tachometer that would bite your snout if you let it. That’s fitting for a car that grows on you as the revs go up and the fun really begins.

Volkswagen GTI: First Place Pick
This fast is fat. This fast is fun. This fast is in fact flawless, or virtually so, which puts it at the top of my scorecard. From the track to the turnpike, here is a performance vehicle that’s a choirboy one minute and a beer-swilling frat dude dressed in plaid pants the next.

It prefers the plaid pants.
Just get it on the track, and you’ll see. It falls just short of the Chevy Cobalt SS, and the Civic Si gives it a run for its money in terms of pure fun. None of the cars were as easy to get up to speed as the GTI, and, despite a nasty little traction control issue, none save for the Cobalt SS felt as planted while cornering. Grip was simply excellent, with very little squeal from the tires during twisty road driving. Indeed, your fast would have to be a very crazy fast to shake the GTI loose.

That’s a problem. Well, kind of a problem. On the track, without the front-end planted, the GTI’s traction control system kicks in and tries to correct. That’s like grabbing a tiger by the toe, and really ruins the good times. On twisty roads, however, where it’s not all-out track driving, this was the most refined car of the bunch even though it felt as though there was a little too much brake pedal play. Almost as a bonus, however, the GTI can button itself up and become a proper little commuter car, though it always seems to be whispering in your ear: pssst…let’s take the long way home.

If you do, you’ll be comfortable all the way to dinner, as the GTI exhibits little jitter or harshness. There’s something to be said for that, for having a car that’s comfortable to have fun in, with an interior that can handle wild driving yet remain roomy and spacious. It’s a nicely designed ride on the inside, with acceptable legroom, good seat bolstering, and nice materials surrounding the occupants. From the plastics to the plaid cloth upholstery, everything feels like quality. The back seat has more room than any of the other vehicles, with elbow room carved into the side panels that makes it even more roomy. Believe it or not, this is an actual four-passenger, four-seat car – hooray! We found only three little blips in the back: the front seats are hard to move, the entry and exit opening is small, and the headrests are tough to pull up, digging into your back when you first sit down and causing you to twist around and yank them into place. The trunk is well designed, with plenty of room and an excellent liftover height.

Whoever would have thought that your fast would have a practical side. Humph. The GTI’s major shortcoming is the design: it looks like a frumpy fast that needs to go on a diet. But if so, that’s okay. It’s what’s on the inside that counts, and for the GTI what’s inside is a nicely executed interior that goes perfectly with the beast that lies waiting, and growling, under the hood.